coolscience

Movie review: Bloodrayne

HEY SETH IM DOIN UR REVIEW

Some weeks ago, Bad Movie Night was subjected to Uwe Boll's BloodRayne, one of many entries in Mr. Boll's personal Gallery of Suck. Honestly, not as bad as I though it would be, and certainly not as full-blown awful as I would expect from a Uwe Boll film.

The actors, for the most part, did a surprisingly credible job. Kristanna Loken managed to emote a character who was probably supposed to be largely defined by blood-drinking and leather pants (which were surprisingly unflattering. seriously, how hard is it to find leather pants that make a girl's as look good?), Billy Zane chewed scenery, and Mr. Loaf clearly reveled in his role as "cameo appearance/guy covered in Romanian whores". The whole film managed, despite thin writing and a total lack of convincing plot, to pull off a campy, over the top sort of charm. The end sequence - several minutes of TOTALLY RANDOM badly done fake blood geysers, apparently culled from the final version of a movie full of fight scenes heavily featuring said geysers - seemed to have been stapled to the end of the movie, possibly because Uwe Boll realized he'd made a movie that didn't realize his usual standards of "total suck".

In all, Bloodrayne, kind of a fun movie. Mr. Boll, we are disappointed in you.