Movie review: Bloodrayne


Some weeks ago, Bad Movie Night was subjected to Uwe Boll's BloodRayne, one of many entries in Mr. Boll's personal Gallery of Suck. Honestly, not as bad as I though it would be, and certainly not as full-blown awful as I would expect from a Uwe Boll film.

The actors, for the most part, did a surprisingly credible job. Kristanna Loken managed to emote a character who was probably supposed to be largely defined by blood-drinking and leather pants (which were surprisingly unflattering. seriously, how hard is it to find leather pants that make a girl's as look good?), Billy Zane chewed scenery, and Mr. Loaf clearly reveled in his role as "cameo appearance/guy covered in Romanian whores". The whole film managed, despite thin writing and a total lack of convincing plot, to pull off a campy, over the top sort of charm. The end sequence - several minutes of TOTALLY RANDOM badly done fake blood geysers, apparently culled from the final version of a movie full of fight scenes heavily featuring said geysers - seemed to have been stapled to the end of the movie, possibly because Uwe Boll realized he'd made a movie that didn't realize his usual standards of "total suck".

In all, Bloodrayne, kind of a fun movie. Mr. Boll, we are disappointed in you.